A Year In

An Electrifying Experience

One thing you come to discover in village is that extremely important events happen with (seemingly) no notice whatsoever.  Let me clarify; everyone in village will know of said event well in advance, but for whatever reason they tend to not tell the local Peace Corps Volunteer till (at earliest) the day before said event. I have found that these can include, but are not limited to: weddings, funerals, community meetings, religious ceremonies, concerts, and most recently a visit from Benin’s President, and former leader of the African Union, Dr. Yayi Boni.

For this particular event I was given a total of three hours notice, although, as he was already delayed and originally supposed to show up earlier that morning, you could say I found out after the fact.

Anyway, after searching for a pair of clean clothes that would be acceptable attire to meet the president of my host country in (no easy task for a grungy EA volunteer, trust me), I made my way down to the local elementary school with a few other volunteers to greet him with the rest of my village.

The reason for his visit was to turn on the village’s electricity, which was originally supposed to happen in December, but hey, c’est la vie.

Over the next fifteen minutes of his arrival by helicopter, he made speeches in two languages, turned on power to the school (and therefore my village!) and was close enough to me to touch (not gonna lie, I got a little bit star struck). Then, just as fast as he came, he left in a whir of cheers, music, and a dust storm kicked up by his helo’s blades.

So finally, after over a year of living in Benin, my village has electricity.

The fun part? The power went out for the next four days strait . . . and I still won’t have power for at least two months while I wait for a counter to be installed.

ALRIGHT MAGGOT!!!

I just spent the last hour picking beetle larva out of my uncooked jasmine rice. When I finished, I thought ‘I should have just eaten them for the protein; It’s not like I don’t know what they’ve been eating’.

In retrospect from an American point of view, I should have just thrown it out/given it to the livestock in my front yard, but hey . . . Peace Corps changes people.

Camp ‘les Filles de l’Avenir’ (translated to The Girls of the Future)

For those of you who donated; thank you so very much! It meant the world to these girls and you will be receiving written thanks with some photos in the mail soon.

The camp came through without a hitch, and I hear we’ll be featured in an article written by PC Washington. If so, I’ll post it here once it comes out.

In any case, I don’t have any comical comments or witty remarks for this. It was quite simply a great program that will remain one of the highlights of my service.

One week where girls from all over my region were given the opportunity to travel (many of them for the first time) outside of their villages to learn about their world, their rights, their health, and their self worth.

Has it really been that long?!?

I’ve been in here for over a year now . . . I don’t really have words for this.

Gaaah!

Rain doesn’t quite sum it up

The start of the rainy season here has all the subtly of a sledgehammer on a thumb tack.

Over the course of two days I’ve seen rain fall horizontally (contradicting, I know), my well water level has risen over seven meters (that’s 22.9 feet), my porch has become an extension of a three hectare lake, and lightning strikes so close and frequently next to my house that I believe I’m going deaf and blind. It’s like being thrown into the ocean with twenty flash bang grenades . . . and I’m loving every second of it.

Plotline for a B-Horror Film

Coming home late one night I hear drums off in the distance. The closer I get to my house the louder the drums get. The louder they get, the more Intrigued I am, so I decide to go investigate. It doesn’t take long to find the source as its right in front of my housing concession.

Here I find what looks like your typical Bariba drum fete (party) with all the accoutrements; dancers, straw huts, bonfires, leather hide drums, etc.

As I’m asking around I slowly learn that this is a three week long, 24/7 drum ceremony to respect the dead. Wait, dead? Yes, dead. As it turns out, my house, and the land in front of it was, and still is, the village cemetery.

 All those random piles of dirt I thought were their just cause the field was a convenient dumping site?

Not so random

All those cement covered sections I thought were old sealed off latrine pits?

Not latrine pits

I like to think I would have been intelligent enough to realize a bit sooner that I live in a graveyard, but as they don’t exactly mark their graves (they pass down that knowledge from generation to generation from what surmounts to a line of priestesses) or visit them, I think I get a pass.

So now I've got crocs in my back yard, (probably) pissed off tribal spirits below my house, and ambivalent priestesses banging on drums three weeks a year and burying new bodies in the front . . .
I live in a B-Horror film, that or “Poltergeist Goes to Africa”

Transportation Solutions

As a PCV I’m not allowed to drive any vehicle with an internal combustion engine. This means no cars, trucks, motorcycles, mo-peds, or go-carts (though I can still ride shotgun).

I have been given two obvious solutions to this problem.

The first is my god given feet. They tend to work rather well at getting me from point A to B, though at a slower pace than I prefer at times.

The second is my Peace Corps issued Trek bike. This option comes with 21 gears, front shocks, and the envy of every child in village.

That all said, I have recently discovered option number 3.

There are times in which I just want to get from A to B without expending any energy. This is my ‘Lazy American’ coming out to rear its ugly head. In these cases I have recently taken to commandeering a donkey cart. Here’s how it works; sit on the side of the road, wait for a (un)laden donkey (with attached cart) to come by, and hitch a ride like McFly.

The best part of this is that it works for mass transportation as I was able to exploit a few weeks ago for a pub crawl to every bouv in village.

Condemnation Commendation (this is for incoming EA PCV’s to Benin 2013 - 2015)

One optional job for volunteers is to develop new posts for the incoming volunteers every year.

Before leaving the states just short of a year ago, I was expecting next to nothing in terms of housing, eg: no electricity, no running water, mud hut with a thatch roof, way out in the middle of nowhere. As it turned out, I do have a cement house with a sheet metal roof (though everything else is spot on).

Anyway, back to ‘site development’. I recently came across Batron, an ecologic village way out in the sticks that is an Environmental Action Volunteers wet dream. This place has year round gardening (which is saying something in the desert-ified Alibori) touristic viewing platforms, outside funding opportunities, a motivated work partner, and a solid developable work site.

Sounds great right? Well, there are some drawbacks. You WILL be vrai villageois.

You will speak only local language (Bariba).

There is not even a slight possibility of running water or electricity arriving in village while you’re here.

You won’t have a mud hut, but you will have a . . . house that meets Peace Corps requirements.

Phone reception is sketchy at best.

You will be one of the furthest volunteers from Peace Corps ‘Headquarters’ in Cotonou.

That all said, this is what attracts most people to Peace Corps in the first place, at least it was for me.

Pending administrative approval, one of you lucky EA’ers will be joining the Alibori crew in four months.

Chaleur

Teddyphant:

A while ago I wrote a brief story about being between a flaming cyborg moto bull and a hard place. As terrifying as that was, it was nothing, NOTHING compared to the adrenaline inducing horror of being charged by a fully grown, fully enraged African Matriarch Elephant.

I’ve heard people say in the past that elephants are gentle giants, so graceful, playful, and tolerant around humans. I’ve heard assumptions that due to their size, they have to be a slow moving creature. I’ve heard a lot of things from people (whose only experience with the animals is in the zoo, safely protected behind a 30 ton rebar reinforced concrete barrier).

A few facts I have recently learned the hard way about African Elephants:

1)      When they aren’t threatened and/or do not have babies in the group to protect, the above statement is mostly true. Otherwise . . .
2)      They don’t always give warning before they charge, and then, that trumpeting noise isn’t so cute anymore.
3)      They are easily capable of achieving rapid acceleration to speeds well over 30mph.
4)      Like bulls, they are attracted to/enraged by the sight of bright red (color of the van I was sitting on top of).
5)      When they charge, their ears flap like Dumbo. But thank God almighty they can’t fly, because then humans would NOT be the dominant species on the planet (you think bird poop is annoying. . .).
6)      Climbing a tree is useless. They will just tear it down and trample you anyway (luckily we got away before this step became a necessary experiment).

To give a little back-story, I recently went on safari here in Benin for a couple of days. It was fastastic, awe inspiring, blah blah blah. It's all well and good to watch a lioness sleep, but only gets interesting once you poke it with a stick (No of course I didn't poke a freaking lion with a stick).

And to be fair (in regards to the elephants), I saw over 90 elephants and was only charged by one and a half of them cause there were babies in the group and we were pissing it off by simply being in eyesight.

The Mechanics of Sweat

The entire reason we sweat is to cool down our bodies due to an unwelcome rise in body-temperature. It is normally a very effective system where our body perspires sweat, then with the movement of air, our surface temperature (and eventually core temperature) is lowered to a manageable level. The key concept here is airflow.

Now I have never been a very sweaty person. It can be a hot day while I’m running in a sweatshirt, fleece lined pants, and a wool hat and my armpits might get a bit misty. It’s funny how living just above the equator can change all of that. During peak temp's of the day, sweat will literally pour off of my face in a steady unbroken stream.

Right now is the Chaleur in Northern Benin, which means ‘The Heat’, and let me tell you, the name does not disappoint. 110 degrees and calm without a cloud in the sky is what I call nice weather to wake up to. The only factor of that which will change over the course of the day is the temperature, and that only seems to want to go up.

Now as I’ve said before, you need airflow for your body’s natural A/C system to kick into effect. Otherwise you just turn into a self basting turkey (salt rub built in!). Add the heat and I’ve been well done for a month now.

Fun fact: Your eyebrows act like sponges for all the sweat that is produced above them. This is a nice feature until they’re saturated. Then, if you wear glasses, they turn into your own personal storm clouds, and I didn’t get the windshield wiper feature at Lenscrafters.

DJ Doogo (pronounced Doe-go)

I’ve gone global! Ok, well not quite so global, as communal (not commutable, that’s what influenza is). Communes here are basically counties back in the states.

I’ve now got a weekly-one hour timeslot along with two other volunteers on the (only) FM radio station here in the Banikoara Commune. It’s me, DJ Katagory 5, and DJ Chewbaké every Saturday from 2 to 3. Not that you’ll ever be able to tune in and listen.

New Segment!

I don't just sit around looking for raging elephants in insane heat and ramble on like a maniac here in Benin, but that's whats fun to write about.
SO, I'm putting a new text box on the side of my page here with "Ongoing", "Current", and Completed" projects.

A Month in Review

Kids say the strangest things

I’ve recently re-started club ACE (Anglais, Culture, Environment) at the local CEG (High School). I have a basic template every class, but for one section I encourage the students to ask me questions about life in America.

I’ve cherry picked my favorite parts of the conversations for humors sake (the more serious issues were discussed at length).

Here are some of my favorite questions and responses to date:

Female student: Do boys in America perform Gri Gri (magic) on the girls to get the girl to like them?

Me: What do you mean?

Female student: The boys give the girls something to eat so the girls will have to like them.

Me: Do they do that here?!? Cause in America that’s called date rape with a roofie.

Male student: So what do you do if you like a girl and she doesn’t like you?

Me: Umm . . . take the hint?

*Background – people here believe homosexuality doesn’t exist in Benin and that it’s only an American/French thing*

Student: Can homosexuals get married in America?

Me: In some states, yes they can.

Student: But how do they have babies?

Me: Adoption or sperm donation etc. etc.

Student: But then it would be a bastard!

Me: That’s not a big deal over there.

Student: Huh, can I move to America?

Me: That’s between you and immigration kiddo.

Student: Why are white people more intelligent than black people?

Me: (Stare dumbfounded at student for a minute) Umm, next question . . .*

*just kidding, It’s very strange (not to mention awkward) when a question like this comes up. This actually led into a huge discussion where I tried to explain that color has nothing whatsoever to do with intelligence. I did give them a pep talk about it, but I don’t think you need that.

Student: Why are you left handed?

Me: Why aren’t you?

Student: Because

Me: Exactly!

You’re on Beninese time now boy! (Read ‘boy’ with southern drawl)

How it works in America: You’re working with a counterpart who sets a meeting for 8:00 AM at the office.

7:50: You show up to prepare a little before the meeting starts.

 8:00: Your counterpart walks into the room ready to start.

8:01: You better be underway or someone’s losing their job.

How it works in Benin (unless it’s church or school): You’re working with a counterpart who sets a meeting for 8:00 AM at the office (remember, they set the time).

7:50: You show up to prepare a little before the meeting starts. Bring a book, maybe a Sudoku puzzle and an I-pod, you’ve got some time.

9:00: Some random people drop by because they’re curious as to what you’re doing there.

10:00: A different counterpart shows up ready to start, but insists that we wait for the original person to show up before we begin.

11:00: Some women show up to sell you fried bread.

11:30: Its determined the original counterpart decided to do something else today.

12:00: Start the meeting anyway. At least some people can benefit from the reason you are here right?

12:01: Debate for 30 minutes about who gets to write on the board.

12:30: Realize that half the people here only speak local language, and those who speak French don’t understand your accent.

12:31: Call it a day

2 Days later: Reschedule the meeting, send at least two text reminders, and stop by the counterpart’s house on the way to the ‘office’ just to make sure they show. Complete the meeting and feel relatively accomplished.

Random thoughts of a volunteer

• Spanking your children isn’t punishment, its practice for sitting on a motorcycle for 3 hours on dirt roads.
• I sometimes have an urge to throw rocks at goats when they’re in heat (BLEET BLEET BLEET BLEET!!!!!!).
• Gardens are depressing. You work on them for 3 months then you run out of water 2 weeks before the fruit is ripe for picking.
• $1.25 is WAY too much to pay for a 40oz beer.
• Dear lord I miss microwave popcorn . . . and fast food. . . and A/C. . . and, and, and.